Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
