what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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