I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
