i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
