ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Someone signed my nipple.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
