the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
