I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
