I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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