Sponge bath it is.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
