im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
