He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
