we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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