Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize