I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
