He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Let's paint friendship bongs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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