remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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