Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
