Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
