i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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