Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
