We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize