I wannas sexs uuuuu
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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