im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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