He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I want is dick and wine.
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