Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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