real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
