So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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