According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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