Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I enjoy the company of your penis
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
