Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
