i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
