Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
