I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
