I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
