Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
