Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
