You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Vodka?
Forever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
