It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize