i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
