I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This toilet bowl is my home.
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