He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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