My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
