So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
