I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
