She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
