Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
