Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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