In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
