i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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