Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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