we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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