no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he told me I talked like a deaf person
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
