just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
