Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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