O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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