cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
