I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
