I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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