FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He better not be in your backpack
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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