We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
