ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
