If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
