It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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