I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
