yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
