ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
