I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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