Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
