the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
