I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
