Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
