I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
