I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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