Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
